Funny People - Jason Mewes & Kevin Smith

Jay & Silent Bob

Long time friends Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith, both from New Jersey, became the scene-stealers of View Askewniverse after the success of Clerks. Kevin Smith created View Askewniverse (a fictional universe) which has been the setting for six films, two short films, an animated series and comics. The Jay & Silent Bob characters have appeared in all six of the View Askewnivrse films, the animated series (Clerks : The Animated Series), comics, TV and film appearances and music videos, including "Because I Got High" by Afroman. Smith has also directed Jersey Girl, Zack and Miri Make a Porno (Mewes had a role in the film), Cop Out and Red State.

Memorable quotes / jokes

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back -

 (Jay raps in front of the Quick Stop convenience store)

 Jay : Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Mother, Mother, Fuck. Mother, Mother, Fuck, Fuck. Mother-fuck   Mother-fuck. Noich, Noich, Noich. 1,2-1,2,3,4. Noich, Noich, Noich.

 Smokin' weed, smokin' wizz,

 Doin' coke, drinkin' beers,

 Drinkin' beers, beers, beers,

 Rollin' fatties, smokin' blunts,

 Who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts,

 Rollin' blunts and smoke... (Interrupted by a teenager and his friend)

 Teenager : Uh, let me get a nickel bag.

 (Jay continues rapping)

 Jay : 15 bucks, little man, put that shit in my hand

 If that money doesn't show, then you owe me owe me 0. (Then sings the lyrics to Jungle  Love by Morris Day & The Time)

 (Jay & Silent Bob's stolen monkey has just been stolen and put in to a car)

 Jay : Man, who the fuck just steals a monkey?

 Silent Bob : (Points at themselves)

 Jay : Oh yeah. Well this fucking blows man, we have one more day to stop these fucks from  shooting this movie. And they fucking took the one thing that I had left from the one woman  that I loved enough to not stick my hand down her pants.

 Silent Bob : (Points at themselves and then in the direction of the car)

 Jay : What, go after the monkey? How the fuck do we know where that car's going?

 Silent Bob : (Mimes the sign on the back of the car)

 Jay : Don't just point like (While copying Silent Bob's mime)

 Silent Bob : (Mimes the sign again)

 Jay : You got to take a shit.

 Silent Bob : (Mimes the driver and the monkey)

 Jay : No, no, you got to take a salad.

 Silent Bob : (Give's Jay a confused look)

 Jay : What the fuck are you trying to say? Just say it man, don't make me ask 20  questions.  You can always tell that stupid Amy story all the time, but you can't spit out fuckin',

 "yo Jay I disagree or yo those are some good cheese fries."

 Silent Bob : (Angrily mimes the sign again)

 Jay : Just fuckin' say it already!

 Silent Bob : (Grabs Jay) THE SIGN, ON THE BACK OF THE CAR, SAID "CRITTERS OF  HOLLYWOOD"...YOU DUMB FUCK!

 Jay : Say it, don't spray it.