Funny People - Mel Brooks

Mel Brooks

He loves history, ridiculous behaviour and big tits. Brooks began his comedy career as a stand-up and comedy writer in the late 1940's and became well known in the late 1950's and early 1960's, when he teamed up with entertainer Carl Reiner and created the comedy skit, The 2000 Year Old Man. In 1965, he co-created and wrote the hit comedy series Get Smart. Brooks won the 1968 Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay for The Producers, which he also directed. As well as producing and guest starring in various TV series and films in the 1970's and 1980's, Brooks also directed, co-wrote and acted in hit comedies including Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, History of the World Part I and Spaceballs. He has received three Tony Awards for his film turned musical The Producers, three Grammy Awards, four Emmy Awards and a Saturn Award as well as his 1968 Oscar.

Memorable quotes / jokes

History of the World: Part I -

Comicus (Brooks) : Have you heard of this new sect, the Christians? They are a laugh riot! First of all, they are so poor..... (waits for helper in the audience)

Swiftus (Comicus' Helper) : How poor are they?

Comicus : Thank you! They are so poor, that they only have one God!

Crowd : (Laughs)

Comicus : But we Romans are rich. We've got a lot of Gods. We've got a God for everything. The only thing we don't have a God for is premature ejaculation...but I hear that's coming quickly.

Blazing Saddles -

Hedley Lamarr : As attorney-general, I can assure you that a suitable sheriff will be found to restore the peace in Rock Ridge. Meeting adjourned (hits the Governor's gavel). Oh, I am sorry, sir, I didn't mean to overstep my bounds. You say that.

Governor Le Petomane (Brooks) : What?

Lamarr : Meeting is adjourned.

Governor : It is?

Lamarr : No, you say that Governor.

Governor : What?

Lamarr : Meeting is adjourned.

Governor : It is?

Lamarr : (Sighing in frustration, he gives the Governor a paddleball) Here play around with this for a while.

Governor : Oh, thank you Heddy.

Lamarr : No, it's Hedley!

Governor : It is?

Funny People - Nick Giannopolous

Nick Giannopolous

The Australian stand-up comedian, actor, writer, producer and director took the word "wog" (referring to Southern Europeans in Australia) from an ethnic slur to a new brand of comedy. In the late 1980's, he co-wrote and produced the stage show Wogs Out of Work and toured the country with some of Australia's biggest name comedians including Simon Palomares, George Kapiniaris and Mary Coustas. Wogs Out of Work went on to become one of the highest grossing Australian live shows of all time. The success of the show led to one of the most successful Australian sitcoms of all time, Acropolis Now, which he co-starred with the cast of Wogs Out of Work. Giannopolous toured Australia in the 1990's and 2000's with stage shows including Wog Boys, Wog-A-Rama and Wog Story. In 2000, he co-wrote, co-produced and starred in the Australian hit comedy film The Wog Boy. The Wog Boy went on to become the 18th highest grossing Australian film of all time and spawned a sequel in 2010. 

Memorable quotes / jokes

The Wog Boy -

(Steve the bingo host awarding the winner with the prize)

Steve (Giannopolous) : Congratulations Mr. Lee, you have won an authentic plaster lion courtesy of Mannolis Plaster Emporium alright.
Mr. Lee : But Vietnamese have elephant not lion.
Steve : Elephant. Lion. The same.
Mr. Lee : They is?
Steve : Yeah, you see Mr.Lee, in Australia...eh...same, same everything's same. My father came to Australia on a boat. And you came on a boat too, the only difference is your boat...was a little bit smaller.

Acropolis Now -

(Jim makes a statement to his co-workers)

Jim (Giannopolous) : Wherever there's trouble, that's where you'll find me. Wherever there's injustice, that's where I am. Mate, for my friend Memo here I would climb every mountain, forward every stream. Look up in the sky...it's a bird, it's a plane...
Memo (Kapiniaris) : It's your eyebrow.
Jim : No, it's Superwog! Yes Superwog, who disguised as souvlaki shop owner Clark Kentopolous, fights a never ending battle for truth, justice and the Hellenic way. Up, up and Tzatziki!

(Meeting Lars for the first time)

Lars : Allow me to introduce myself. Lars Larsen, Swedish from Stockholm.
Jim : Jim Stephanidis, Aussie from Athens.

Funny People - Leslie Nielsen

Leslie Nielsen

After spending four decades as a serious actor starting in 1948, Leslie Nielsen became in the words of famed film critic Roger Ebert, "the Laurence Olivier of spoofs." Nielsen spent years on stage, television and film playing serious roles until 1980 when he played the iconic role of Dr. Rumack in the classic comedy, Airplane! (Flying High!). While he continued to work in all areas of serious acting, he continued to play characters with a deadpan comedy style who were seemingly unaware of what was happening around them. His most famous roles include Lt. Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun trilogy, Dick Steele in Spy Hard, Ryan Harrison in Wrongfully Accused and President Harris in Scary Movie 3 & 4. Nielsen passed away on the 28 November 2010 at the age of 84. He chose "Let 'er rip" as his epitaph.

Memorable quotes / jokes

Airplane! - 

Ted Striker : Surely you can't be serious?
Dr. Rumack (Nielsen) : I am serious. And don't call me Shirley

Dr. Rumack says to Ted Striker and Elaine Dickinson before, during and after they are landing the plane, "I just want to tell you both, good luck. We're all counting on you."

The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad -

Jane Spencer : I've heard police work is dangerous.

Lt. Frank Drebin (Nielsen) : It is. That's why I carry a big gun.

JS : Aren't you afraid it might go off accidentally?

FD : I used to have that problem.

JS : What did you do about it?

FD : I just think about baseball.

Funny People - Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield

He loved crowds and got no respect, but became the king of comedy. Rodney Dangerfield started off in the business under the name "Jack Roy" and failed to breakthrough for many years, failing to perform an act that audiences responded to. He adopted the name "Rodney Dangerfield" in the 1960's and revived his career with a new stage persona. His career sky-rocketed in the 1980's after his comedy album, No Respect, won a Grammy Award and he played memorable roles in films including Caddyshack, Easy Money and Back to School. Perhaps his greatest achievement was his comedy club Dangerfield's. He would perform shows there and hosted HBO comedy specials for up-and-coming and headline comedians including Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Carrey, Andrew Dice Clay, Dom Irrera, Sam Kinison, Bill Hicks and Roseanne Barr.

Memorable quotes / jokes

"In Vegas you gotta go broke, they got slot machines all over, even in supermarkets. I bought a dozen eggs it cost me $442."

"My wife, she never went for me. The first time I called her up she told me to come on over there's nobody home. I went over there was nobody home."

"I was poor. Once on my birthday my old man showed me a picture of a cake."

Funny People - Sam Kinison

Sam Kinison

Compared to other comedians, Sam Kinison was not involved in comedy for many years but while he was, he was the man. He influenced comedians younger and older than himself with his unique presence and communication skills. From his late teenage years to young adulthood, he had followed in his father's footsteps as a Pentecostal preacher. Preaching turned out to be the wrong path and he changed to comedy starting in Texas. After performing stand-up in the comedy club scene, his breakthrough came when he appeared on a Rodney Dangerfield HBO special in 1984. Appearances on late night television and film roles followed and he became one of the biggest names in comedy. He had a passion for rock music and would perform with a band on stage at his stand-up shows. He died in 1992 when he was 38, in a car accident as he was on his way to perform a show in Nevada. 

Memorable jokes / quotes

It's Not Easy Bein' Me (HBO Special) :

Women are always on the outs going, "Well how come you don't talk about men? How come you never say what's wrong with men? How come you only talk about what women do? How come you..." Oh there's a reason!...There's a fucking reason! Because a man never broke my fucking heart! A man never lied to me in love. A man never made me wanna drive my car...in to a fucking wall!

Young Comedians Special (HBO) :

It occurred to us that there wouldn't be world hunger if you people would live where the food is! Get out of the desert, it seems like you live in a fucking desert! Nothing grows out here, nothing's gonna grow out here! You see this huh? This is sand, yeah it's sand. You know what it's going to be in a hundred years from now huh? It's gonna be fucking sand! You live in a fucking desert! Get your kids, get your shit, we'll make one trip. We'll take you to where the food is. We have deserts in America, we just don't live in them asshole!

Have You Ever Been Experienced?

The Jimi Hendrix Experience

Music is one of my passions and I don't disregard any genre, I believe that the genre of a song is irrelevant to it's quality. In other words, every song should be judged on it's own merit. That being said, I have an appreciation for many bands and artists, but the one artist that I never get tired of listening to is the one and only Jimi Hendrix. 

Hendrix couldn't make it big early on in America, playing in the backing bands of The Isley Brothers and Little Richard, and following their conventional rock and roll, soul and R&B style. It was when he made the move to England that he made his mark. He put together his own band, the Jimi Hendrix Experience, and finally had some creative control of his music and style. He wrote almost all of the tracks and produced many that he made with the band. In only four years that the band were together, their only three albums were all ranked among the 100 greatest albums of all time by Rolling Stone magazine.

Had he not passed away at the tender age of 27, who knows where his career might have gone. He was one of the most well known artists in the world at the time of his death, especially after headlining the legendary Woodstock Festival where he performed an iconic instrumental rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner."

Favourite Album

Axis: Bold As Love - In my opinion, one of the greatest psychedelic albums ever made and one of my all time favourites.

Favourite Songs 

All Along The Watchtower - A total re-invention of the Bob Dylan classic and possibly the greatest cover song of all time.

Bold As Love - Creative perfection.

Purple Haze - Rock classic. Psychedelic classic. Metal classic. Guitar virtuosity. Contains one of the most well known lyrics in music history, "excuse me while I kiss the sky."

Funny People - George Carlin

George Carlin

Unconventional, fearless, energetic and pure genius. There was no subject he couldn't tackle and he did so with thought and reason. His career in entertainment began as a conventional comedian, eventuating to an unconventional and unique persona and a routine called "Seven Dirty Words" which led to a Supreme Court decision over broadcasting indecent material. Carlin left a legacy for future comedians and the freedom of political in-correctness as Lenny Bruce had begun before him. He was an author of three bestsellers, a four-time Grammy winner, was nominated for five Emmys and wrote and performed 14 HBO specials as well as 23 comedy albums. One of the most insightful minds of his generation and one of the hardest working comedians of all time.

Memorable jokes / quotes

"Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure."

"Here's something you don't hear too often. Honey let's sell the children, move to Zanzibar and start taking Opium rectally."